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Friday, August 27, 2010

OOBH Stew: Eff You, Skank! Edition

Hey there! What's shakin', my BOOBHs? (see what I did there?)

It's Friday, and you know what that means: OOBH Stew time. Today I'm gonna do something a little different though because I do so love to mix it up and keep it real, don't you?

Last night as I was thinking about what pop culture nuggets I'd mince up for the stew I realized that all of the stories I wanted to talk about involved celebu-skanks who need to be told to eff off, and fast. I don't typically get so negative here on the OOBH but this has been building for a while now, so today I shall release the Kraken and add a hearty pinch of "EFF YOU, SKANK" seasoning to the Stew.
Tastes like cigarettes and Thunderbird.

Naturally, if you're offended by the F-bomb you might want to skip this one. If not, pull up a stool (heh heh, I said stool) and enjoy.

Eff You, Skank #1:  Fuck You by Cee-Lo Green.

The first ingredient comes from a rather unlikely source, but since I am the Tess McGill of the blogging world I take pride in collecting information from many different sources.  I heard about this song yesterday while listening to NPR. Yes, I know - I'm such a rock star, pumpin' my public radio to find the freshest new jams. *eye roll*

Bear with me, because this song is hilarious AND it fits in with today's theme. The song is called "Fuck You" and it's catchy as all get-out. It's already a huge hit online even though it hasn't even been released yet. You simply must listen to it to understand the coolness of it all, but be forewarned - it's obviously NSFW and contains bad language. Durr.



Right?!  I love it!

Eff You, Skank #2:  LiHo is out of jail/rehab.

This bish, right? The best part is that now they're blaming all of her partying and erratic behavior on being prescribed Adderall when she didn't have ADD. YEAH RIGHT! Nice try, folks. Oooh, Adderall mimics the effects of cocaine? Well guess what? So does COCAINE, which she was caught with on two of the occasions when she got stopped for DUI.

Now she'll get millions of dollars to do her post-jail interviews in which she'll cry and say how the court system wronged her & the judge was unfair.  She'll have a career renaissance and will be hotter than ever while the rest of us are just trying to stay out of trouble and pay the goddamned electric bill on time. FUCK YOU, SKANK!

Eff You, Skank #3:  Heidi Montag wants to have her DDD implants removed.


BOO HOO!  They make her back hurt and she has to have her clothes custom-made.  Waaaaaaaaaaah!

So you mean that tottering around with 2+ gallons of saline perched on your 100 lb. frame wasn't a good idea?  Who'da thunk it?!

FUCK YOU, ya' halfwit!  Go away!

Eff You, Skank #4:   Britney has a hot bod again.

Remember when Brit-Brit was cray-cray and looked like this:

Via WWTDD
Well, now that she's back on her meds, has stopped sucking down frappecinos like they're water, and has re-enlisted the help of her personal trainer, she looks great again.

Where the hell are MY personal trainers and chefs? Oh yeah, that's right, I don't have any because I'm not a nutcase who is more famous for going crazy and not wearing panties than for her... wait, what did she used to do? Sing, or something?

Shoot, man. Fuck you. Skank.



Okay, now that I've gotten that off my chest I feel a lot better! :)  Anyone else need to vent?  Have at it - we don't judge.

We'll get back to rainbows, puppies, and sunshine next week. Have a great weekend!