Notes to self

MEMO 1/26/09

TO: Bev's Bod
FROM: Bev's Brain
RE: What condition your condition is in.

It has come to our attention that your pants have grown snug and your double chin has come out to play. We've also noticed that you're drinking a lot of BEER lately, and we can't help but think these two items are related. It cannot be a coincidence that your daily beer consumption went up right around the time the little line on the scale went up.

We are demanding that you cease and desist with this self-destructive behavior immediately. Please, think of the clingy dress you need to squeeze into for that big family wedding in two weeks. Also, remember that there will be pictures taken that weekend. Lots of pictures, from all angles, most of which you will not be aware are being taken.

Thank you,
The Management
_____________________________________________

MEMO 1/27/09

TO: Bev's Brain
FROM: Bev's Bod
RE: Fine.

Okay, you have a point about the beer. I stopped drinking beer a week ago because I, too, noticed the bloat. Beer guts are hardly attractive. I get it. But I'm still drinking wine on the weekends, so suck it.
_____________________________________________

MEMO 1/28/09

TO: Bev's Bod
FROM: Bev's Brain
RE: Have you forgotten something?

What about the tub of cookie dough in the fridge? The one you purchased for Danny's cookie swap? The one you keep sneaking spoonfuls out of?
_____________________________________________

MEMO 1/30/09

TO: Bev's Brain
FROM: Bev's Bod
RE: You suck

Eff it, I'm just gonna buy some Spanx. Beer I can give up, but cookies, well, cookies are a dealbreaker. And it's not like I eat them every day. I can stop anytime I want. Honest!

You Couldn't pay me enough to play tennis in this weather!

Jeez it's hot!!
43 degrees or 109.4 for those of you working in farenheit.

Same again for tomorrow with the next few days almost as bad.

Now I love a hot night more than most but it's nearly 10.00 pm and it's 32.7 dgrees (90.86). That's even wearing me a bit thin.

Yesterday was just as bad but it doesn't seem so hard when you're doing this ....

or hanging out here ...

What on earth possessed me to leave a summer paradise for stinking hot Melbourne?

Maybe the fact that Moondoggie started kinder today!

Bugger education!

Evil hunks of demonic plastic

LS is 16 months old now and still uses his binky at night while sleeping, though we're trying to keep them out of his mouth during waking hours. Trouble is, he thinks it's hilarious to throw said binkies and say, "Uh oh!" at any opportunity. I'd waiger that we have at least 25 binkies lurking somewhere in the house. Finding those binkies is proving to be troublesome at best, absolutely maddening at worst.

He's also cutting all four of his his eye teeth right now. Wicked fun.

Yesterday he bit the one binky we could find clear in half. We searched high and low for another one, all for naught. "No binky!" We declared. Tonight, Babychild will sleep sans binky.

It did not go well. He was up at 3 AM, screaming. Jim went to soothe him, and we were all up and down until DH finally relented and got up with him at 4:30.

I've decided that these things are pure evil. I refuse to buy another one, EVER, so it looks like we're in for a couple more sleepless nights until he gets used to not having one. I think we'll go with some ibuprofin for the teething pain and go from there. Highly irritating - I am not someone who does well on minimal sleep. I actually do best on about 9 uninterupted hours/night, not that that has been possible for the past 5 years or so....

So, that's what's new in our neck o' the woods today. I'm tired.

Forget it, old people: No more TV for you!

Another funny from Spike Feresten's show. I guess I'm going to have to start DVR'ing that show again!!

This one cracks me up because it's soooo true. The older woman (she's 70) who I work with bored me for weeks talking about buying & installing her TV converter box for the digital transition next month. I, for one, am REALLY glad to have cable so I don't have to worry about that whole deal!

Anyway, check this out:


Hee!

Celebrities who I wish would just go away...

take a long walk off a short pier,
make like a tree and leave,
scram, skidaddle, and/or take a hike....

I feel like posting something light & fluffy today, since it's Friday, the sun is shining, and I'm in a GREAT mood. :-D The bossman will be out more than in today (he's got a lunch appointment and then he has to go pick up his brand new Lexus from the dealership, don'tchaknow), and I plan to watch Grey's Anatomy online since my DVR ate the recording for no good reason last night. I also hope to get a few pages written, if my muse shows up. That bitch has been tardy has hell lately, so we'll see.

Anyway, back to the fluff! In the course of my daily (ok, multiple times/daily) blog stalking, I seem to keep coming across stories about the same boring-ass celebs. I find that I am skipping blog entries about these dingbats on the regulah, so I thought that in and of itself was blog-worthy. Here goes:


Brangelina
They're both about as interesting as a hunk of boiled cauliflower. Additionally, sure, they're pretty people with lots of skilled workers dressing them, doing their hair, and slapping on make up (not to mention Photoshop help), but the result is that I have seen more realistic-looking wax figures.




Jennifer Aniston
Why is she interesting? Why should I feel sad that she can't seem to make a relationship stick? She's rich, famous, and gorgeous. Cry me a freakin' river! Although, Jen does get points for being in Office Space & not totally sucking. She even had one of my favorite lines: "I don't really like talking about my Flair."



Anyone from The Hills
I've never watched that shit, but these entitled twats make me want to hit something, or someone. Hard.







Paris Hilton
Duh. Is there anyone out there who really likes her? Maybe if we stop paying attention to her, she'll go away.








Kim Kardashian
Why is she famous again?!? Oh yeah, she's a spawn of Paris Hilton and is largely famous for having a big butt and a sex tape in which she (allegedly!) gets peed on. Yeah, you heard me. What an utter bimbo. Oh yeah, and her dad helped keep OJ out of jail (the first time). Not hot.




Lily Allen
Yeah, I liked that song she had way back when, but this chick has become annoying on a whole 'nother level. She's a hot mess with an opinion about everything, and she just comes across as petty and nasty. Also, she has a third nipple, which is just Freaksville, USA, population: HER! ;)


There are more, but I'm boring myself by talking about the idjits whose news bits I regularly ignore! Maybe next Friday I'll do a post on celebs I wish I knew/heard more about, like Anna Paquin, Zooey Deschanel, and Michael Cera!

Blindsided

Grief is a funny thing. Sometimes it just jumps up and punches you in the gut, with no warning.
Today was one of those days.
As I was driving back to Melbourne tonight I was singing along to the stereo, thinking about nothing much when, out of nowhere the image of a friend, who died a few months back, came to me in perfect detail. He just appeared in my mind's eye as though he were sitting next to me.
Next thing I know I am crying and trying to recall the moment just to hold on to it a bit longer.
The mind plays funny tricks and I never can recall his face in detail when I want to.
It was so nice to see him again.
This is not the only time it has happened either.
While at a Tex Perkins concert, in the middle of a song, I glanced around the crowd and I saw him. I'm sure he was there and it made me so happy to believe it.
It made me think that if his death has having such an effect on me then how much more so for those who were closest to him.
I hope they are learning to live without him in their lives and that the lesson is not insurmountable.
I hope they know that he will always be remembered by so many who's lives he touched.

So like us.

LMAO!

Thanks to Cary at List of the Day for this little gem.

Turn him on...

...and I swear he'll return the favor.
(Read: this is babymakin' music)

Every couple of weeks, when I'm feeling especially mellow and contemplative, I'll pull out (hot!) Scottish singer/songwriter Alexi Murdoch's CD "Time without Consequence." If I listen to it in the morning on the way to work, I'm so relaxed by the time I arrive that I'm practically in a trance. Which, as you can imagine since you've heard me talk about my work, is a good thing.

Favorite tunes are "All My Days," "Breathe," and "Dream about Flying."

Here he is at a record shop a couple of years ago performing "Breathe":



"Dream about Flying" has very cool lyrics, and I especially love:

"Five years old I climbed up on the wall
My mother warned me but I took no heed
Like all creatures great and small
I took a fall and found out I could bleed"

He's aptly been compared to the late Nick Drake. Check him out if that seems like your cup o' tea. My awesome & amazing brother-in-law introduced him to me, so I thought I'd do likewise for you. You're welcome. ;)

Artist website.

Heath Ledger

How is it possible that it hurts more now than it did one year ago?

The boy is an artiste!

My 5-year-old's homework assignment tonight was to draw a picture of our new President. We were actually expecting even more of a Picasso-type image, so we were pleasantly surprised by his creation! He's a genius! Can't wait till he gets famous and starts supporting ol' mom and pop. :)

Just when we'd given up on Spike Feresten

We caught a few minutes of his show the other night and he had us rolling.

1/23/09 Edited to add: Thanks for letting me know that YouTube had pooped out on me AGAIN. When will I learn to go to Hulu first? Anyway, the clip's working now. Check it out!

THE SNOOGLY:



The Mancoon and the Napcap - LMGDAO!

Bored-d Bored-d Bored...

BORK BORK BORK!

I know, the Swedish Chef has nothing to do with me being bored today, but that's just one of the strange ways that my mind works, mkay?

Happy MLK day! Anyone else working? I am, if you can call it that. I finished returning the phone calls in exactly 20 minutes, did 2 transactions, and now I'm pretty much done with all of my work FOR THE DAY. It's 9:30 AM. Eeeeeesh.

But, I'm not complaining. I have decided that I am not going to complain about my craptastic job until the economy improves again. Now's no time to be out looking for new work, after all, so I'm going to do my best to be grateful for just being employed. No matter how soul-sucking my work is. No matter how annoying my coworkers are.

It's my way of giving back. That's me - just doin' my part. ;) I'm a regular humanitarian.

My weekend was good. I did very little. I watched a lot of True Blood (online, because HBO is a bunch of suckers who won't put that shit up on demand). It was alright, but not nearly as good as the books. I like Anna Paquin as Sookie a lot, but the rest of the characters bored me a bit. The books are ALL about Sookie, so the fact that the show has to focus on her brother, best friend, boss, etc., kind of bores me.

Today I'm just going to do my level best to ignore the crazy cat lady here at the office. She has already cornered me twice to talk about the snow and bird seed or some crap. I dunno - my eyes glaze over the minute she approaches my desk.

Ta ta for now, mes amies. I'm going to hunt down some more caffeine!

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