It's the end of the world as we know it...

and I feel fine. No, really, I do.

Sooo, if you're one of those religious extremists Christians who think that the world is going to end tomorrow, I hope you're all doing it UP today! Seriously, you're already Saved... why not get your party on, comfortable in the knowledge that you will be safely ushered into Heaven at approximately 6 PM EST tomorrow?

See u Saturday!  lol

Go nuts! Get the caffeinated coffee. Eat a Big Mac. Have a beer. Rub one out.

We'll be sad to see you go, but those of us who are left behind will somehow muddle through. It will be tough going, what with all of the earthquakes and zombie attacks and all, but somehow I think this rag-tag group of sinners will do okay.  I'm just psyched that all of my friends and most of my family will still be here!  It'll be like Old Home Day up in here!

I'm feeling pretty well-prepared, having done a big grocery shop and stocked up on water, iodine tablets, and non-perishable food items yesterday. But truth be told, I plan to get the majority of my supplies during the Post-Rapture looting.  First stop: pharmacy.

What?  For my thyroid medication, duh.  What did you think, that I'd grab all of the pain relievers, condoms, and Xanax?  No way!  Never.*

Second stop: liquor store.

 Catch you later, fellas.

At any rate, I'm pretty okay with the world ending tomorrow.  I mean, I'd be bummed, yeah, but it would be kind of a relief in some ways.  No more stress, worry, or credit card bills.  No more forcing myself to exercise even though I hate it. No more Kardashians on TV.

I could get used to it.  I'd adjust.


Haha, I'm kidding!  I'm not really a crazy nut who believes in that crap, sillies! On Sunday morning, we'll all still be here, and I'd love to be a fly on the wall of one of the churches whose congregation believed it all.

Oops.

Instead, I'll be one of the many, many people on this planet who will join together in the spirit of brotherhood and give them a universal, cosmic one of these:

That'll teach you to believe in something, believers!

Oh, settle down, I'm kidding.  Mostly.

At any rate, tonight I'll be spending the last night of "normal" existence on a chick date.  We're going to eat our body weights in delicious carbohydrates and then go see Bridesmaids, and I can't think of a better way to say sayonara to the world as we know it.

Just in case, I wish you all the best in the Afterlife or whatever.  If you end up staying here, as I'm sure you will because if you read my blog then you're undeniably a big fat sinner cool, call me!

Peace, love, and antibiotics!
XOXO

La Bev

*Yes way.  Always.

U.S. Stereotypes

I found this map last week and it made me smile. I admit that since I haven't traveled to every state in this great country yet*, I try to reserve judgment as much as possible. HOWEVER... I really think they nailed the common perceptions that many of us have about different areas of the good old U.S. of A.

Click to enlarge.

Speaking as someone who has spent her entire life living in Vermont and New Hampshire, I do find it interesting that the stereotype for those states is that we are rich. In fact, pardon me while I snort loudly and roll my eyes....  I am clearly in the bottom half of THAT demographic.  While I've never been what I'd consider "poor," I've never exactly been wealthy either.

I can't quite make out what they said for Maine, but it looks like sailing?  I would have said Lobster, but that's just me.  *shrug*  Also, what does "fashion bloggers" refer to?  I feel like an idiot for not getting that.

How'd they do for your state/area?

* I have this crazy pipe dream about renting an RV and taking my family on the ultimate Griswold-style vacation some day, although I'm fairly certain that so much time in an enclosed space with my darling husband and adorable spawnlings might inspire some unfortunate incidents...and possible jail time.  Totally worth it!

Sunday Funnies!

Hey, folks! What's shakin'?

All's well here; just having a very lazy day. I took a long nap this afternoon but still feel like I could sleep for days. Thank goodness Spring is on the way, right? Can't wait to get regular doses of warm, fresh air again!

Want an instant mood boost? Go to Google and type in "Spring," then click Images. Enjoy. :)



My work days are getting busier than ever (yay!), so I thought I'd do a little light blogging today. No mental heavy lifting since it's Sunday and all, just some funny pics I've been quietly hoarding for ya'.

I recently Stumbled Upon this quirky blog called Fun With Signs. When it comes to seeing juvenile humor everywhere, I think I've met my match with this guy!

Sometimes they get it right:

The rest of these are just funny pictures I've found around the web. They make me giggle... thought they might do likewise for you!








Have a fantastic week!
XOXO

Random is my MIDDLE name

Happy Tuesday!  How are you all today?  I'm groovy.  I'm just pluggin' along at work.  I've decided to do a good old-fashioned random blathering kind of post.  Why?  Why not, that's why.


It's 1-11-11 today.  Not that it means anything (to me, anyway), but it's still kinda cool.  Do we get to make a wish or something?

Is it me, or is EVERYONE in Hollywood pregnant right now?  Every day there's another report of a knocked-up starlet.

Natalie Portman (who apparently got biz with her mute ballerino costar from Black Swan).

Victoria Beckham, who is evidently trying to populate the world with handsome, mouse-voiced hottie soccer stars.  Now that's a project I can get on board with! 

Owen Wilson put a smoosh-nosed baby inside his girlfriend.

Jane Krakowski is pregnant but her 30 Rock character is not, which is a good thing because the idea of a pregnant Jenna scares me a bit.

Marion Cotillard and her French boyfriend have produced a beret-wearing, chain-smoking, wine-guzzling French fetus.  Oui!


One of the Kardashian assholes might be knocked up, but as part of my New Year's resolution I refuse to put up her picture or mention her by name.  I am shunning all things Kardashian and Jersey Shore; every time I find myself watching them I get irritated that they are rich and famous for doing absolutely NOTHING, so I've decided that watching them bad for my mental health.

In other news, I'm oddly pleased that Gwyneth Paltrow is flopping terribly in Country Strong.  I have not heard her sing, nor will I listen to any clips of her singing.  I don't want to know if she's a talented singer.  DO NOT WANT.


Michael Douglas beat his throat cancer!

YAHOO!  I don't care who it is, any time I hear that someone kicked cancer's sorry ass it's a WIN.  I fucking hate cancer, and Mike D. is okay by me.  He'll always be Jack "Trustworthy" Colton to me.

Turns out, 'Mericans don't want to watch Sarah Palin kill things.  Thank GOD.

Canceled!

My faith in the U.S. viewing public has been somewhat restored.

Cake releases their new album, Showroom of Compassion today.  Yay!

Nice auras.

We're expecting a big snow storm tonight, so hopefully tomorrow will find me sitting at home in pajamas with my kiddos while my husband hits the slopes.  I love it when a snow day coincides with my already-scheduled day off!  I find I don't dread storms at all when I don't have to drive anywhere and I've already received clearance to sit on my ass and do nothing.  Sweet, beautiful nothing.  Ahhhhh.

 After work I'm swinging by B&N to pick up this book, which I've heard is a great read even though it's technically Young Adult.  Hey, I'm down with YA!  No shame.  Good writing is good writing.

So that's enough random poo for one day.  Got anything on your minds?  Lay it on me!

Friday Fun: Nicest Celebrities

WOOHOO, IT'S FRIDAY, BITCHES!

The House of Seven Gables

I'm so glad that this week is coming to an end!  It's a beautiful Autumn day here in my neck of the woods and I've got big plans this weekend.  Tomorrow the fam and I are heading down to historic Salem, Massachusetts with my friend Laurie & her family.  I'm really excited to go there, not just because it's such an old town and has such a rich history, but also because they do a big witch/Halloween-y celebration for the entire month of October that I can't wait to experience.  We're all getting into it; I bought myself a fabulous purple feathered witch hat and the boys will be rocking skeleton body suits.  Jim is going for a suave vampire motif... that is, if I can get him to wear his fangs, which remains to be seen.

We're staying at a hotel that has an indoor water park, so on Sunday we will let the kiddos splash, hoot and holler to their little hearts' content.  Should be fun!

Ahoy, let's matey!

Speaking of fun, let's keep things light and frothy here on the OOBH today, shall we?  Last night one of my Facebook friends shared a link to a story about Johnny Depp showing up at a young fan's elementary school in full Jack Sparrow mode.  She had written him a fan letter so he surprised her because he's just an awesome, awesome guy.  It got me thinking about other celebrities who are known for being nice.  You don't hear as much about them as you hear about the a-holes, so let's bring on the good vibes and celebrate the GOOD people of Hollyweird today.

Here's my list of celebs who I've heard are genuinely nice folks who just happen to be rich and famous.  Please feel free to burst my bubble (I know you will!) if you've heard otherwise, and don't forget to add anyone I may have missed in the Comment section!  I'd especially love to hear about any personal experiences you may have had with a nice celebrity.

Hugh Jackman

Father, husband, actor of stage and screen, and reportedly a super-nice guy with a self-deprecating sense of humor.  Also, incredibly hot and has a to-die-for Aussie accent.  *swooooon*

Renee Zellweger

By all accounts, this sweet Texan hasn't forgotten her modest roots.  I heard a great story about a woman who encountered Renee in the shoe section of a department store.  The woman was trying on a pair of expensive high heels and Renee admired the shoes and encouraged her to get them.  The woman said she wished she could but couldn't afford them.  They went their separate ways and the next thing she knew Renee appeared with a shopping bag containing the shoes, gave it to her and told her to enjoy them and have a great day.  Pretty wonderful!

George Clooney

He's an actor, director, philanthropist, and on-set comedian.  Everyone who works with him seem to love him, and he's as well-known for his charitable donations as he is for his handsome mug.  He's an unapologetic bachelor who doesn't seem to lie about what he wants from women: good looks, good times, and zero pressure to get married.  Sounds reasonable to me!



 No, this isn't just another excuse for me to use this picture again.  *shifty-eyed*

Jason Bateman

Jason is known for being a nice guy, which is impressive considering that he's been in the business for his entire life and we all know that child stars don't often turn out to be well-rounded, normal folks.  He recently got some flack for cutting a line at the Apple store, but let's look at the facts.  Instead of sending an assistant to the Apple store at the crack of dawn to get his new iPhone he went himself.  He got at the end of the line and was waiting for almost two hours with all the other schlubs when an Apple employee noticed him and brought him in to get his iPhone first.  He never asked for special celebrity treatment, didn't expect it - why does accepting it make him an asshole?

Whatevs.  I'd let Jason cut MY line anytime!

Ellen Degeneres

 Unlike another ex-daytime talk show hostess who was once dubbed "The Queen of Nice" but who turned out to be an absolute beast IRL (*cough*RosieO'Donnell*cough*), I truly believe that Ellen is as nice as she seems to be on TV.  I love that she's always giving things away to needy families and standing up for people who are bullied but who deserve respect and civil rights as much as anybody else.  I love that she doesn't apologize for being who she is, because who she is is pretty great.  Above all, I LOVE her sense of humor!

Will Smith

Handsome, great sense of humor, talented, and a devoted husband and father - what's not to like about Will Smith?  Have you EVER heard a bad word uttered about him?  Yeah, me either!

Reese Witherspoon

On set, she's reportedly friendly to every single person, not just the VIPs.  She takes her kids to school herself and jogs without make-up and still looks fantastic.  When someone is this pretty and nice it makes it really hard to hate her, damn it!  Plus - she was Elle Woods AND June Carter Cash - so she's A-OK in my book.

Steve Carell

He rarely curses.  In fact, he's known for liberally sprinkling the word, "Gosh!" into his sentences.  His niceness seems to seep out of his characters, too, and he apparently never takes a project that doesn't feel right or that his kids wouldn't be proud of.





Well, there's my list!  Who's on yours?

PS)  Have a great weekend, everyone!  La Bev thinks you're swell.  *mwah*

I Write Like....

The other day I happened to Stumble Upon a site that analyzes your writing and tells you which published author your style most resembles. Since there are so many aspiring writers out there I thought I'd pass it along so we could compare notes.

I was lazy and just snagged two of my recent posts from the OOBH last week. I suppose I really should have looked harder and found what I consider to be my "best work," but it was Saturday and I try not to exert myself on Saturdays if I can help it.

The first clip earned me a comparison to SciFi writer H.P. Lovecraft.

I write like
H. P. Lovecraft

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

KEWL! At least, I think that's cool; I haven't actually read any of his stuff, which is odd considering I do love the genre. Better get on that!

The second blurb I grabbed compared me to Dan Brown. Wow. He's like, all smart and best-selling and shit... so let's take these findings with a big ol' grain of salt, shall we?

I write like
Dan Brown

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

Your turn - click here and find out whose style yours resembles. It just takes a minute!

Monday Fun: Who's on your Ugly But Sexy List?

Hey, all! It's one of those gray, rainy days when I wish I could be home in pj bottoms with a blanket and a good book. Stupid work - always getting in the way of my dreams of doing nothing!

The weekend was great, but I could use another day to recover. On Friday I went out with my friend Megan to a group psychic reading, which was really interesting even though she and I were the only two people in the room who didn't get a reading.  It was still a cool experience, especially the part where she did a brief hypnosis session and I felt like I was tripping.

Anyone ever been hypnotized? It wasn't what I was expecting, that's for sure. I felt fully cognizant the whole time, but my body felt like it was made of lead and my head was clear but somehow felt like it was on another plain of consciousness. I know what drugs feel like (shhh!), and this felt very much like someone had drugged me. It was weird, but kind of cool! The mind is a powerful thing, that's for sure.

After the session Meg and I met up with Mala for a drinky-poo, but we were all kind of worn-out so it wasn't a big night on the town. Over our cocktails we did start talking about something that I knew would make a great blog post, so I quickly started jotting things down so I wouldn't forget them. Of course, as I sat down to write this post I realized that my handy-dandy list is at home on the kitchen table, so let's see how Bev's memory is, shall we?

Discussion Topic Du Jour: What celebrity do you find ugly but also oddly sexy? Here's who we came up with:

Anjelica Huston
My husband thinks she's hot, and I can't imagine why.

Javier Bardem

How can he be sexy with that mug?  IDK, but he IS.

 Uma Thurman
 Sometimes she looks amazing.  Most of the time, notsomuch.

Owen Wilson

 Only a man could get away with that nose in Hollywood.

 

Kirstin Dunst
Snaggletooth.

 

Mick Jagger

 Fugly, but undeniably sexy.

  

Sandra Bernhard
Even Playboy thought she was sexy enough for the cover.

Adrian Brody

 Seriously, look at him!

 
Fergie Ferg
See Also: Face, Butter

 

Benicio Del Toro

 It must be the accent.

 

Maggie Gyllenhaal
Nobody has ever been such a sexy Secretary, but still....

Lady GAGA

Exhibit A:

Thoughts?  Who is on your "Kind of ugly but I'd still nail them like a loose floorboard" list?  Spill!