Blog Name: "Hey, A Shiny Object"
Raison d'etre: Making fun of shit, being a lovable curmudgeon
Last seen: 2 months ago, when he told us all he was preparing to get married. This is the Blogosphere's equivalent of "going out for cigarettes."
- Possible reasons for disappearance:
* Still having mad newlywed sex
* Contracted Swine Flu while honeymooning in Mexico
* Abducted by aliens
* New wife discovered his loyal female blog following and was not easily amused
* Became a time traveler and is now trapped in the 14th century
* Doing hard time for pimping
* Suffered a traumatic brain injury after being kicked by a mule; consequently lost his sense of humor and ability to taste
* Got a life/just got sick of this shizz
If anyone sees this blogger, approach him cautiously and assume that he is armed. Give him a bologna sandwich (NO CRUSTS!) and a rubber chicken and apply cool compresses to his genitals immediately.
