And we're baaaaaaaack (with an a-load of pics)

First of all, thanks to all of you for your kind thoughts and words. You've all been so nice, and it means a lot to me to know that you care! Secondly, I'm coping fine. I am sad, but functioning. I'm about ready to strangle my oldest child, but I think I might just drug him instead. Ha ha, just kidding. Sort of. He is driving me steadily insane, that much is true.

So, I'm gonna talk about something fun. I'm going to tell you all about the big Cake show we went to last Wednesday night. WOOOO! Holla! Ok, let me preface this by saying that we had a fan-fucking-tastic time... from what I remember. In the hotel room we drank at least two bottles of wine, maybe three (?).

EXHIBIT A:

Me gettin' dolled up.

Mala is totally checking out my rack.

Oh, how we laughed! La la laaaaa!

A three-pack of hotties (this was before Jill arrived).

Hot MILF action!!! AKA: Is that a camera in my pocket or am I just glad to see ya?
Then had two more of the crappiest screw-top bottles of wine EVER, with dinner. That's when things start getting fuzzy for The Bev.

EXHIBIT B:

GULP

I love you, maaaaaaan!

Let me clarify... I love you as a friend, maaaaan!

Celebrity mis-sighting of the night: Laurie kept staring at this dude who was eating behind us, saying he looked like the guy from Grounded for Life. Me, being the encyclopedia of worthless knowledge, pulled that dude's name from my ass with a dexterity that amazed even myself. Donal Logue! Of course! Doesn't everyone know his name? Heh. So, Faux-Donal came and had his picture taken with us, much to the chagrin of his seething Asian wife. WHOOPSIE. Piss-off of the night #1 (that we know of).


Apres din-din... looking a little sassier.
I have vague recollections of the show, and I remember getting super excited when a couple of my favorite songs came on (The Distance, Never There, Stick Shifts & Safety Belts, Short Skirt, Long Jacket, Frank Sinatra), but don't remember actually paying attention to the songs or ya know, listening. (BLUSH)




I do remember that I couldn't figure out how to work my gd camera, so I have a ton of 3 second video clips that were supposed to be pictures. *sigh* I maintain that it was wicked dahhhk in there, but... well, we all know it was alcohol-induced user error. The few video clips I did get are shakey as hell and pretty much un-watchable, and some feature Laurie singing LOUDLY right next to me, and me intoning, "Laaaaaaurrriiiiieeee" now and then. HA! Thankfully for us, but not for those around us, Laurie was snapping pics like nobody's business. Srsly, we got yelled at a few times. Piss Off of the night #2. In retrospect, I'm a little embarrassed... but whatever. We had fun. Those othah suckahs can... well, suck it!



I remember spending a fair amount of time texting another friend, and at intermission I went out to make a call and then things get really fuzzzzzzy. I remember Jill waited in line for a beer, and I somehow convinced her to give it to me. Why? I don't know. Not like I needed that shit! Then, I'm TOLD I went back to my seat, but next thing I remember is wandering around outside in the lobby with no clue where my friends went. Turns out they'd gone down to the stage and Laurie was working her magic on a security guard, trying to get us backstage. HAHAHAHAHA! Mala says Laurie was stroking his face and going all out. All I know is when I checked my texts the next day there were like 10 back and forths between me and Mala, all of them like this:

Me: where aaaaaah you guys?
Mala: near the stage. come down!
Me: wait? what?
Mala: we might get backstage. Come NOW!
Me: Who are you with? What?
Mala: Get your ASS DOWN HERE NOW!
Me: I LOVE THIS SONG!
Mala: BEVERONI, COME HERE NOW!
Me: (crickets)

They did not get backstage. Eventually I found my way back in and Mala found me standing against the back wall, staring at the band with a bemused expression on my face. Doo-dee-dooo... Bev's in LA LA LAND. Pandemonium continued, the band ended the show, and next thing I remember Mala and I were sitting under a street lamp waiting for Jill and Laurie. Don't know how long we sat there, or what we discussed (well, ok, I remember some of that, but that shit's private, yo!), but we did eventually get back to the hotel and reunited with our friends.



Cut to later: Laurie decides she needs pizza and goes to the lobby for some reason. And she runs into the band, who are also staying at the hotel. And she somehow gets the guitar player's freaking room phone number?! WTF? Conclusion: Laurie is magic. So she called him, I think, but things were all blurry and shit by then, so I don't think it went anywhere beyond a 5 min. convo. But, still. Gotta hand it to Laurie - when she gets it in her mind to do something, that shit gets D-O-N-E.

We went to sleep around 1ish, and I got the call at 5:15 AM that my dad was having a massive heart attack. This event will forever be known going forward as, "THE WORLD'S BIGGEST MOFO BUZZKILL." So, there's that.

BUT, the night was amazing. My friends crack me up and party like rockstars, and I'm so grateful to them for supporting me, laughing with me, and getting shitfuck wasted with me every now and then.