I was in a great mood this morning. It's Friday, I slept in a bit, the birds are singing and all that good shit. Then I got to work.
Ugh. I know I said I wouldn't complain about my craptastic office space existence anymore, and I really meant it... bit fuck it, I give up! If I can't bitch about my ridiculous coworkers and their ridiculous issues than what's the point of having a blog?
Anywho. Here's a recap:
Nasty Bitch Nancy (NBN) ~ This woman is just not happy unless she is complaining about something. She recently took a couple of exams so now she feels like she's Queen of the Fucking Galaxy, when in reality she's still just a glorified assistant like the rest of us. She is outwardly nice to people most of the time, but don't be fooled - she loves to backstab and bitch about you when you're not around. Trust.
Incidentally, the copy machine seems to be on the same menstrual cycle as NBN, because it seems to act up whenever she's in the bitchiest mood. Or, we all just deal with the fact that it sometimes sucks in more than one piece of paper at a time (because it's a freaking COPY MACHINE and they do that!), whereas she finds it necessary to shout wildy and exclaim, "I hate this thing! Can't we (and by
we, she means
ME) do something about this damn machine?!"
Crazy Ass Janet (CAJ) ~ Those of you who know me know that CAJ is my own personal demon. She is 70 years old, drives 90 minutes ONE WAY to work a 5 hour shift, and never, ever,
ever shuts the fuck up. She remembers every compliment that anyone has ever paid her EVER, and regales me with them at any opportunity. I've been here for 5 years and I still haven't quite figured out what she does, except be an enormous pain in my ass. She sits 4 ft. away from me and talks to the back of my head while I dutifully ignore her.
It's not in my nature to ignore people, and it's not in my nature to be openly rude to people. I'm kind of a friendly gal, if I do say so myself. But this job has beaten the friendly right out of me. If I speak too much or even make EYE contact with CAJ, she will talk non-stop for the next 2 hours. About knitting, or her cats, or she will list every freaking thing she ate from Friday till Sunday and how she prepared it. Oh, and she once made something called "Hot Dog Pie" and made me eat it. She sucks.
There are many more characters in this motley crew, but I will stop here because I'm getting all blotchy and aggitated just thinking about them. But, I'm done holding it in. These people are sucking my soul out of my eyeballs on a daily basis and I need to vent. So suck it.
