When Wordless Wednesday meets From the Vault

Hump Day -- the perfect day to go through the photos from the past weeks and months and share them with my BOOBHs. I didn't realize how long it had been since I've done one of these posts!

They may look cute, but they've been in the toilet.

Thanksgiving pre-game prep

This is how my blond, blue-eyed son sees himself.  NTTAWWT.*

Mala made me this ornament in 1998.  <3

The bad news:  I had a PET scan last week as part of my annual witch Cancer Hunt.  The good news: it was negative!

R2 is happy to see you!

These next few are from our local ski hill's Oktoberfest event:

Raise your hand if you have to pee!

Why hello, cowboy.

Bang!

Owls, dude.  they're everywhere.

This cookie is bigger than my head.

Check out this guy's giant horn.

Face painting BEFORE

Face painting AFTER!

Drunk with power (?)after winning the dance competition (no, really), Jim entered the stein-holding contest.  The competition was stiff!

Scary ski mountain mascots

He really commits.

And now the Pièce de résistance!

The other day Jim was puttering around the house when he decided to swap out a picture in a frame he had in his man cave.  Under the poster, he found this:

Clicky clicky.

I was twenty, in my Sophomore year at UVM, and pretty much all of the important things in my life (at that time) are represented here in pictures:

My two best high school friends who shared my fondness for bad horror flicks, empty calories, and later, horrifying our parents with pink champagne-fueled belly piercing incidents.  That pic of C (lower left) was taken the night when I lost my panties.  Oops.

My college friend with benefits, K.  Oh, what benefits.... The mud fight at Davis Hall.  My friend's dopey boyfriend (the blond dude) who was present in just about all of our pictures from that year... and none after that.  My parents when they both had hair.  My sister and me in our fabulous sleep wear.  I think it's funny that in my sister's college graduation photo my mom and I are standing the exact same way.

It was so neat to see these pics all in one place like this.  Talk about a time capsule - I don't think I could have made a more all-encompassing "My life in one year" collage if I had tried.

There you have it!  WW meets FTV.  Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. 

XO
Bev

* Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I'll now resume my regularly-scheduled gabbing

Hola, beautiful BOOBHs!  How are ya?  I'm good. Cary & I busted our asses last week and got the final draft of our book done by close of business... only to have the publisher say, "Thanks!  I'll look at it on Monday."

It's cool, though.  It was one of those moments in life when you don't realize how much pressure you've been under until it's gone.  I actually got more than 5 hours of sleep on Friday night and didn't wake up three times during the night remembering something crucial (or not) that I need to do.

On top of the book stress there was also stress at my crap job on Friday.  I won't get into it, but it boils down to people in my office being entitled little twats who seem to get off on nagging me about asinine stuff like coffee until I cry.  Yes, I cried.  I'm not proud, but so be it.  Thankfully only one person saw.  It was just a rough, stressful day and I was stretched tighter than a rubber band. 

On Friday night after I put the kids to bed I literally stared at the TV with the volume off for two hours before going to sleep.  I just stared into space like a mental patient, but without the fun meds.

Kinda like this:


Anyhooters, the weekend cured what ailed me for the most part.  Still kind of stressed, but I'm working on not wallowing in self-doubt.  Instead, I'm focusing on making this Christmas the most wonderful time of the year for myself and my family.  I'm also keeping my eye on the prize: the trip Mala and I have planned for February vacation!

That's right, we're taking our show on the road again.  We are returning to the city of angels for a 5 day fun binge, and I can't wait!  We haven't been to L.A. since 2006, so it's time to revisit some of our favorite spots and do some light celebrity stalking.  As luck would have it - and we honestly didn't even plan this - we're going to be in town for the OSCARS.  Uh huh - BAM!  That's what I'm talkin' about!  I'd say our chances of stalking spotting celebrities are pretty damn good.  Making dinner reservations for Chateau Marmont in 3...2...1....

As always, if any of my lovely CA-BOOBHs wants to do a meet & greet, let me know!  I'm already planning to kidnap and corrupt my dear friend Maeghan, so the more the merrier.  :)

Planning a vacation from work does help me get through the day.

Clicky to make biggy

So that's what's new with me.  What about you guys?  :)  How you holding up this holiday season?  Talk to me!!

Flashback Friday: 1987

Ah, Friday!  I'm so glad to see you.  Despite only working three days this week I still felt like the week dragged!  Have you ever noticed that?  Short weeks seem even longer than regular ones?  Weird.

Anywho, I thought it would be fun to have a flashback today, since you know I love those.

The Year Is 1987.

I was 12 years old, had a bad haircut, wore bad clothes, and listened to bad music.  But hey, it was the 80's, yo; didn't we all?  Don't take my word for it - behold the photographic evidence!

I know I was awesome.  Don't be hatin'.

Let's see.  I was in 7th grade.  My favorite band was - surprise! - Duran Duran, but mostly because my sister liked them first.  This was about two years before I would enter my emo dark period when I wore all black every day, listened to The Cure, and wrote angst-filled letters to Sinead O'Connor and Seventeen magazine about how no one understood me.  True story.  At this age, I was still innocent enough to like posters of animals and episodes of You Can't Do That On Television.

Oh, Alasdair... how I hearted you.  You too, Alanis Morissette.

Every week my dad would take us to the video store to rent VHS tapes.  Some of my favorites that year were:

This was the year that I had a big sleep-over and the main event was a screening of the brand-new hit movie, Dirty Dancing, which had just hit Pay-Per-View.  All of my giggling girlfriends were beside themselves with excitement at the prospect of watching this movie. We were glued to the screen, oohing and ahing over Patrick Swayze, wishing we were Baby.

Since we lived in the boondocks of northern Vermont, my parents had a satellite dish - the big 12 foot diameter kind, not the cute little Direct TV ones.  Anyone who has ever had a satellite dish will tell you that they're temperamental bastards, and that night as we all waited with baited breath to see if Baby would complete the much-anticipated lift in the final dance scene, a gust of wind blew the satellite dish off kilter and the screen went to static.  There was a chorus of groans and one girl shed actual tears.

As a 12 year old, I was certain that I would be doomed to be a social outcast thanks to this enormous faux pas, but somehow I muddled through.

Always an avid reader, my favorite author in 1987 was Stephen King.  The scanned photo above can't be enlarged, but I would bet dollars to donuts that the paperback on my nightstand was one of his books.  I distinctly remember buying Misery in hardcover that year.



This was also back in the day when MTV played actual music videos, so I'm 100% certain that this was my favorite music video that year:



Good times.

That was my walk down memory lane. See that? Flashbacks CAN be fun.

What were you doing back then?

From the Vault: Black Sheep Edition

Recently I came across a few dusty old boxes of pictures and clippings that made me smile, so I thought it might be time to open the Vault again here on the OOBH. In this edition of From the Vault you'll probably end up asking "How the hell did La Bev come from such a nice, conservative family and become the pervy humor-monger that she is today?"

Well, my peeps, your guess is truly as good as mine, but I don't analyze it too much -- I sleep better that way.

This is a December 1971 edition of Life Magazine.

Featuring a my great-grandfather and my cousin -- holla for Scotland!

My grandmother and great-aunt both worked for Time Life in NYC, so I suppose that had something to do with how my great-grandfather and my cousin Mike were selected for this article. Together they represented Scotland in an article about immigrants and their American-born offspring. As you can tell if you read the article, my great grandparents were devout Covenanters from Scotland who worked hard, prayed hard, and exercised every day of their lives.

Something you probably don't know about the Bev -- I come from a very religious family. On my mom's side many of our relatives don't believe in drinking or dancing; they also sing in 3-part harmony at family gatherings, attend & teach at religious colleges, and go to foreign countries on missions from God. A few of them are scholars and published authors with multiple Ph.D.s, all in religious studies. Needless to say, all of our family functions involve tea, panty hose, and awkward conversations.

And then there's me, the picture of class, good taste, and constraint. ------->

*SNORT* I don't even go to church and frankly, I consider myself to be more spiritual than religious. It goes without saying that I like to get my party on and show off my killer dance moves every chance I get. If it weren't for the family resemblance and for the fact that my sister shares my ribald sense of humor, I'd think I was switched at birth!

So yeah, it's probably a good thing if Great-Granddad is busy playing golf with Ghandi in the after life and not checking in on his sweet great-granddaughter.

How about you guys -- do you come by who you are honestly, or are you a bit of a black sheep too?

From the Vault: Classic Clips

Hey now! Yesterday was shitty and I feel deflated and headache-y today. Boo!

It's cool, though - don't cry for me, Argentina. I will dust off my self-confidence and relocate my happy vibes, I promise!



Until then, I'm slacking off and showing some classic movie clips that I enjoyed during my very happy childhood and adolescence. I'm also throwing in a few old pics because... well, why the fuck not? That's why.

Who wears short-shorts? I did!

My sister and I loved those kittehs! I was probably about 9 in this picture, which means that some of my favorite movies were:

The 1959 comedy classic Some Like It Hot

This clip is kind of long, I know, but you'll have to trust me when I tell you that it's funny and worth watching. The gist of the story is that two struggling big band musicians (Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis) witness a brutal mob crime and decide to disguise themselves as women in a traveling girl-only band.

What I love about this clip is that it's a reminder that though times have certainly changed in the last 51 years, some things never change - men ogle women (and with Marilyn Monroe on board, how could they not?), they party, and they tell bawdy jokes. Plus, men in drag! More proof that classic humor never goes out of style.

Arthur (1981)

Dudley Moore plays a permanently-drunk millionaire who falls in love with a petty thief (Liza Minelli) who somehow still has better values than he does. This movie contains some of the best lines ever written. Truth.

La Bev at 16.

Observant (and long-time) readers of OOBH might recognize that purple tie-dye. I told ya that shirt was old!

Stripes (1981)

"Don't call me Francis."



My man Bill Murray is a down-and-out cab driver who decides to join the army with his friend Russell (Harold Ramis) because they basically have nothing better to do. Hilarity ensues.

Btw, this is why I sometimes say, "You just made the list!" when someone pisses me off. Now ya' know.

I could go on all day, but I'll stop now and save some clips for the next time I'm phoning it in down in the dumps!

I'll leave you with two ID cards I unearthed recently. The first is from high school and I was 14. The second was taken sophomore year of college when I was 20. The only thing that hasn't changed much about me in almost twenty years? My hairstyle. I should get on that.



Nah, I fear change.

Ok, lovelies! I shall check in wit'choo latah. Let's all do our best Scarlett O'Hara impression and say, "After all, tomorrow is another day!"

Show me YOURS!

I know I promised a new game of Show Me Yours last week, but... well, last week just got away from me and I didn't get around to it! So we'll do it this week, mkay?

The last time we played was waaaaay back in 2009, when I asked you all to show me your workspaces/desks/computing locations. We had fun peeking into our fellow FOOBH's homes, didn't we? I know I enjoyed putting on my stalking hat and eyeballing your special areas. **eyebrow wiggle**

This time might require a tad* more effort, but what's a little effort between friends? This week's Show Me Yours is...

< DRUM ROLL >
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.
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.
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Your Senior Portrait!

Ta DAAAAAAAA!

That's right. I'm asking you to unearth your high school senior portrait and scan that bad boy in for us to make fun of admire. If you don't have a scanner, take a picture of a picture for us. If you don't have a photo, how's that GED working out for you?

(Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

Next Monday 4/19, post your photo on your blog and let me know so I can include you in a list of links here on the OOBH. If you don't have a blog or don't want to post it there, just email it to me and I'll post it for you here.

It's just that simple! To prove that I do put my money where my mouth is, I will not only post my own sucktacular photo but those of my entire immediate family.

Are ya ready, kids?



I can't hear you!



Okay, settle down.

This is my babelicious mother in 1964:



You know how the Olson twins are rumored to say "prune" when having their photograph taken so that their lips look all puffy and pursed just-so? I think my mom invented that trick.

My handsome father, circa 1957:



My sessy sistah in 1986:



(Forgive the 'do and the pink pearls, ok? It was the 80's!)

And of course, La Bev. Take your pick:



Ha ha! Okay, okay. Those aren't really my Senior pics, but you'll have to wait till next week for that one. :) Since you're such patient little puppies I'll also include my college yearbook photo. No extra charge.

Okay, your turn! Fire up those scanners and buh-ring it! It's rare that I assign homework, so please don't leave me hanging!

Next Monday. You. Me. All of us.

Doing it, it, IT! Well, sorta.

* In space terms that's about a half a million miles.

From the Vault

Howdy!

Sorry about the misfire yesterday! Some of you noticed (and bless your hearts for that) that I posted something yesterday and then deleted it before anyone could read it. Oops! I just wasn't feelin' it, so I took it down. No biggie!

I'll make it up to you today by showing you some mildly-embarrassing photos from my misspent youth. Just a few snapshots from my life, nothing too racy today, but be sure to check in tomorrow when I join in on the Lilu's TMI Thursday fun!

For now, we're opening the Vault:

July 1986
Check out this hot ticket in her polyester mini skirt in the July 4th parade! I grew up in a small town in Vermont; not born a poor black child as you may have previously heard. I twirled the baton, and badly. Later I would go on to play the flute, also badly, in between dancing (badly) and doing gymnastics (you got it, badly). Regardless of my lack of dexterity and grace with my baton, I had my glory days, like this one.



Spring 1995

In college I was a big theater nerd. I took every class offered by the Dept. of Theatre and spent most of my free time working on shows. For my advanced stage make up class I needed to find a friend with very short hair to do a bald cap on; any hair longer than an inch and a half looked bulky under the thin latex caps. Since all of my friends were rich kids in a hippie phase, the person I knew with the shortest hair was a girl, my friend Erica.

Here's my masterpiece! Bald caps are tricky - lots of adhesive, base, etc. but I got an A. :)



Spring 1997

Last but not least. This picture cracks me up! Here's a very young Jim on one of the few occasions that he managed to drag me up and over a mountain. We did an overnight trip up Camel's Hump (heh heh, hump) in Vermont. It was beautiful but the mosquitoes nearly carried us off the mountain, and physically it was just hard as hell. Bev no likey.

So here's Jim and his bowl cut admiring a scenic vista. Is it just me or does this look like either a posed Sears portrait OR as if he's sitting on an invisible toilet?



It's his impeccable posture, I think. IDK.

Anywho, hope you enjoyed this little peek into my vault. Have a happy day!

A Decade of Laughs: NYE then and now.

Hello, and welcome to 2010, bitches! Who else is hating life right now? Here I am, back at the office on this first frigid Monday of the new year, about to own up to all the shit I slacked off on doing before/during the holidays. My boss will be in shortly to pester and irritate me; apparently not seeing him for over a week was not the respite that I needed. I need to not see him anymore, ever, and I plan to work on achieving that goal this year. Again.

But enough of me bitching about My Crap Job! I have photos to share, yo.



NYE was a blast, for sure! We had a great little party at our house and I do believe that a good time was had by all. I don't have much to say about it, so I'll let the pics speak for themselves.

For shits & giggles I scanned in the photos from our NYE celebration back in 1999. Mala hosted that gathering at her apartment in Manchester,a nd at midnight we went up to the roof to watch the fireworks, but they never came and we never did figure out why! Good thing we were prepared and brought Sparklers.

This NYE, we actually stepped out onto my deck to check out the full (Blue) moon and found my next-door neighbors setting off fireworks! It turned out to be quite a cool display, although my photos just make it look like the trees in my backyard were just exploding for no good reason. Oops!

Here we were, partying like it was 1999 (cuz' it was!):



NEW YEAR'S EVE 2009:

The whole gang at midnight (minus Laurie, who was partied out, me, b/c I was taking the pic, and a couple of the kids, who were either sleeping or off ransacking the food table):


Something made me laugh really hard:


I can't imagine what:


My PJ's rocked the hizzouse:


Yeah, give the kids noise-makers. Great idea.


Brudders!


Shake it, Mark!


Sugar High? I don't know to what you are referring, mother.


Posing with The Bev is mandatory.
Mala, Bev, and Jill:


Bev and Laurie:


The kids:


My kid knows how to party!


More proof that I am all that and a bag of chips:


Mark, here's your new Facebook profile pic! Enjoy.


Like mother, like daughter:


Fireworks/Exploding Trees:



Just the Girls:


IDK WTF this is.


The only other news that's fit to report is that Dick Clark now looks exactly like a ventriloquist's dummy, am I right? Yes, yes, we know he suffered a major stroke and all, but he looked like the animatronic version of himself the other night and it was painful to watch. Just sayin'.



Ok, gotta run. Boss-man is breathing down my neck and I have to go look busy. Have a great day, everyone!